Brilliant Master Storyweaver

How do you even begin to describe the glory of the all-glorious God?  How do you even explain when His glory (His love, His faithfulness, His compassion, His sovereignty) becomes everything to you?  

How do you explain what it's like for God to explode into your life and turn your world upside down?  How do you express what it's like to be completely changed?  To have a new identity?  To be marked forever?

"How was your trip?" is something I hear often now.  What can I say?  

Lifechanging.

One of my dear friends asked me that very question a few evenings ago, and I found myself almost at a loss for words.  How could I describe it??  "I am a different person," I replied.
She smiled at me.  "I can tell.  I hear it in your voice."

In the past I have struggled with letting God be the Author of my life.  I have feared trusting Him because my path thus far hasn't made a lot of sense to me.  I thought I could write a better story, one with much less pain and many fewer trials.  Now, as God is bringing me through seasons of healing and redemption, I can look back and say:

"O Lord, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; for You have worked wonders, plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness." -Isaiah 25:1

I recognize that if I were in control, my life would look much different.  It might be less complicated, absolutely.  But it would not be abundant.  If I were in control, my life would be safe and easy.  But I would not be alive.  

When I was younger, I prayed that God would give me a life worth writing about, a story worth telling.  Now I see that my life is His story, and it is definitely worth telling.  He is the main character, and I am a supporting actress.  My ultimate goal in life is to glorify God, whatever that looks like.  However, wherever, whenever.  

And what a story He is writing.  It is not devoid of problems.  It is not devoid of pain.  It is not devoid of frustration or complications or impossibilities.  
But neither is it devoid of miracles.  It is filled with promises and hope and faithfulness.  What a God we serve!

He is the brilliant Master Storyweaver, interlacing threads of life both painful and beautiful to create a tapestry that reflects His love and glory!  

What a beautiful robe to wear.  

Like Invisible Ink (Hard Questions, Part 2)

In Part 1 of this two-part series, we looked at two of the questions we usually ask when we're in a spiritual valley.  The first question, "is God really here with me in my valley?" we answered with a resounding yes.  (For a refresher on how we figured that out, see Part 1.)  But knowing this doesn't seem like enough; I imagine some of you are probably asking the next question:

"Well, if God really is here with me in my valley, then where is He??"   

I used to ask this question literally all the time.  And if you are asking it too, you're in good company!  Hundreds of people in the Bible asked it -- probably screamed it -- and shed bitter tears when they felt that God had abandoned them in their darkest hour.  So where is He??
  
"Why, O Lord, do You stand far away?  Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble? . . . . In the pride of his face the wicked says, 'He will not call to account;' all his thoughts are, 'There is no God.' . . . He says in his heart, 'God has forgotten, He has hidden His face, He will never see it.'  . . . But You do see, for You note mischief and vexation, that You may take it into Your hands; to You the helpless commits himself; You have been the helper of the fatherless. . . . O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart; You will incline Your ear to vindicate the orphan and the oppressed." -Psalm 10: 1, 4, 11, 14, 17-18a

Months ago, I came across one tiny verse tucked away in the Psalms, and that verse started this whole series. "Your way was through the sea, Your path through the great waters; yet Your footprints were unseen.  You led Your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron." -Psalms 77:19-20

He has been here all along, even when we don't see Him.  He has promised "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you," and it takes faith to believe that He is with us, even when the world taunts us and insists that He is not.    

"The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.  And those who know Your name put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, haven not forsaken those who seek You." -Psalm 9:9-10

Here's the key: God's way often doesn't make sense until afterwards (if it ever will this side of Heaven).  Often while we're walking through a dark season, we don't see His "footprints", and it takes faith to believe that He is here, He hasn't left, He is guiding, and His plan is in motion.  We have to choose to walk by faith and not by what we can see (2 Corinthians 5:7).  Look for Him in the little things.  As you begin noticing little answers to prayer here and there, it will encourage you to press on in faith that He will also answer the big things in His timing.  

 "O Lord, You have searched me and known me!  You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar.  You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.  Even before a word is on my tongue, behold O Lord, You know it altogether.  You hem me in, behind and before, and lay Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.  Where shall I go from Your Spirit?  Or where shall I flee from Your presence?  If I ascend to heaven, You are there!  If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there!  If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me and Your right hand shall hold me.  If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,' even the darkness is not dark to You; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You. . . . How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  If I would count them, they are more than the sand.  I awake, and I am still with You." -Psalm 139: 1-12, 17-18

So to answer your question: where is God?

He's been here all along.  Just like invisible ink that can only be revealed by a very specific light, or by a heat source, God has been here all along.  Sometimes it takes the blazing heat of the "furnace" to see it.  The challenge doesn't lie in the fact that God is there; the challenge lies in our faith -- our choice to believe it and actively walk in it, enduring until the end, believing His promise never to forsake us.


"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. . . . And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He is, and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him." Hebrews 11:1,6  

Not Okay (Hard Questions, Part 1 1/2)

I was sitting here writing Part 2 of "Hard Questions" when a thought suddenly struck me, and it was so powerful that I dropped everything I was doing and opened a new blog post.  There is something I have to tell you.

It's okay to not be okay.  

This two-part series we're in, "Hard Questions," deals with the two of the biggest questions we ask when we're in a spiritual valley.  But it struck me that I have been addressing those questions without speaking to what is between the lines.  It's so subtle that I almost missed it.  

Let me tell you about what my valleys used to look like, and see if yours look the same way.

In my valleys, I would feel overwhelmingly guilty.  I would feel ashamed because I questioned God's goodness and His love.  I would be ashamed of my angry tears.  I would regret anything I said to Him because I felt that He could use it against me on Judgement Day.  I felt like such a disappointment to Him for my lack of faith and trust.  Were you ever told, "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all"?  I felt this could never be more true than with God. 

So I said nothing at all.  I decided to suffer in silence.  I would read my Bible and cry quietly, never daring to raise my eyes heavenward, afraid of the disapproving look of the Lord.  I felt like a worthless failure of a Christian.  And I certainly didn't have a lot of affection for this harsh taskmaster of a God I served.  

I don't remember what it was that caused me to think differently.  Perhaps it was a sermon or the words of a family member.  Maybe it was an e-mail from a friend or a divine "epiphany."  All I know is that one day I realized it's okay to not be okay.  God's heart wasn't breaking because of my failure as a Christian or because my faith wasn't proving strong in the midst of my trial.  God's heart was breaking because I had been tricked into believing that I couldn't go to Him for comfort.  I had ultimately been deceived about His character and convinced that He wasn't really "good."  (I'll give you one guess at who deceived me.)

It was a strange feeling when I finally, timidly raised my eyes heavenward.  I had never felt more vulnerable in my life.  Knowing me, I probably said something like, "Is this . . . okay?" before bursting into tears.  There is such relief that comes with knowing God's true character.  His heart was aching for my hurt.  He cared that I was wounded.  He wasn't up in the sky glaring down at me, hating me for my piteous state of faith.  He wasn't disappointed in me.  He's not disappointed in you.

God's shoulders are big enough for your questions.  He can handle your hurt.  He is BIG ENOUGH!!  He can handle your woundedness.  Come to Him and let it all out.  It's okay to not be okay.  Come to His arms and rest, finally, in unconditional love.  Have you ever felt that?  Even at our best, humans can barely attain it.  There is nothing you can do that will make Him stop loving you.  Absolutely nothing.  You are His precious, precious child.  You're hurt: that's okay.  I think He loves to be close to us when we are hurt.  Our pain is irresistible to Him; He wants to swoop down and comfort us.  We just have to let Him.

I have really no idea why I felt moved to write this post.  It's messing up my nice, orderly two-part series.  But I find that whenever I try to get all my ducks into a neat, straight row, God likes to intervene and show me another way -- a way that's far better than what I would have chosen.  So if this was for you, praise God! 

For now, God's arms are open.  He's waiting for you.  And it's okay to not be okay.

God of My Valley (Hard Questions, Part 1)

There are times when we endure a season of suffering and, through it all, enjoy a heightened sense of God's presence.  But what about those times when it feels like God has dumped you in the middle of something hard and left you on your own to figure it out?  Where is God then?

Over the years I've asked this question a lot.  Some questions have no answers outside Heaven, but along the way, God has taught me two very important lessons.

The first lesson is illustrated in 1 Kings 20, when Ahab, the king of Israel, is warned by a prophet that the Arameans (some translations say "the Syrians") are gearing up for attack.  Ahab prepares the Israelites for battle and goes out to meet Aram, but an embarrassing sight awaits them.  The Arameans fill the country, while the Israelites in comparison look like two small flocks of goats (v. 27)!

The situation looks pretty grim, but Israel is about to find out that God has a beef with Aram.  "Then a man of God came near and spoke to the king of Israel and said, 'Thus says the LORD, "Because the Arameans have said, 'The LORD is a god of the mountains, but He is not a god of the valleys', therefore I will give all this great multitude into your hand, and you shall know that I am the LORD" ' " (v. 28).

At that time, pagan nations like Aram believed that gods had only so much power, and were confined to specific areas (like mountains and valleys).  According to notes written on 1 Kings 20:23 from the Ryrie Study Bible, the Arameans wanted to fight in the valley because they believed that Israel could only win if they fought battles on the hills, since Israel's God controlled the hills. 

There really is no need to finish the story, because God had set Himself in opposition to Aram, which means that no matter how many troops Aram brought against God, He would win.  What I want you to see is what offended God in the first place.  

He was offended by the accusation that He was only a God of the hills, and not also a God of the valleys.

If you know me well enough, you know that I hear that with a different perspective entirely!

Christians sometimes label stormy seasons as "valleys" and sunny, celebratory seasons as "mountaintops."  (I know I do!) If we take this point of view and apply it to Aram's accusation of God, it sounds like Aram is saying, "You're only in control, present, and gracious during the sunny times.  But when the stormy times come, You go M.I.A.!"

This is a lie, no matter how true it may sometimes feel.  God wants it made very clear that He is equally as present (sometimes even more so to our awareness) in the valley.  

"For the LORD your God has blessed you in all that you have done; He has known your wanderings through this great wilderness.  These forty years the LORD your God has been with you; you have not lacked a thing." -Deuteronomy 2:7

"But the land that you are going over to possess is a land of hills and valleys, which drinks water by the rain from heaven, a land that the LORD your God cares for.  The eyes of the LORD your God are always upon it, from the beginning of the year to the end of the year." -Deuteronomy 11:11-12 

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." -Psalms 23:4

God never, ever, ever lets go of your hand.  He has not left you, even though you feel alone.  David says that there is no way we can lose God or get away from Him (Psalms 139: 7-10).  He is most certainly a God of the valleys!  

But what about my original question?  If God is with us in the valley, then where is He?  

I'll address that in Part 2. :)

Pink Clouds and Broken Mirrors

One evening, when I had finished my last class of the day and was walking to another building on campus, I glanced up at the sky and stopped in my tracks.  The sky was beautiful; it took my breath away.  The sun started to dip below the horizon, filling the sky with brilliant orange color.  But it was the large, puffy clouds that caught my attention the most.

They were bright pink.  

I walked more slowly, staring, until the sun suddenly disappeared below the horizon and the sky dimmed dramatically.  Now the clouds turned ashy grey.  I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that something so beautiful and unique a minute ago was now bleak and plain.  Did the clouds have some hidden beauty I wasn't seeing right now?

Later I realized that on their own, the clouds were just empty, blank canvases.  It was the sun's rays that made the clouds beautiful as they reflected its glory.  Sound familiar?

The concept of reflecting glory reminds me of something I heard on the radio years ago, when Luci Swindoll (the sister of renowned evangelist Chuck Swindoll) presented a unique view of us as Christians.  According to Ms. Swindoll, we are all broken mirror fragments, broken by our pasts, our sins, our failures, and our experiences, but all able to reflect the glory of Jesus Christ!  We can reflect His glory despite our brokenness -- even through our brokenness!  

This is an illustration of who we are.  We are blank, grey clouds and broken mirrors.  But even we can be used for His glory if we choose to reflect Him no matter the circumstances.  Just as I was captivated by the beauty of that sunset and wondered whether the beauty originated from the clouds or from the sun shining on the clouds, so will the world look at us and wonder if the peace we have (or the confidence, the hope, the joy) is something we somehow found in ourselves, or if it really does come from knowing Jesus Christ intimately.   

2 Corinthians 3:18, "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit."

2 Corinthians 4:6, "For God, who said, 'Light shall shine out of darkness,' is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ."

Isaiah 60:1-3, "Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.  For behold, darkness will cover the earth and deep darkness the peoples; but the Lord will rise upon you and His glory will appear upon you.  Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising."

Beautiful Scars

This isn't a normal message from Facing Midian.  This message is straight to you, from my heart.  This morning I am overflowing with praise -- I hardly know why I am writing this; I just want to share with you what my sweet Lord has done for me.  

He has turned my scabs into beautiful scars.

Now, I know about scars.  I have physical scars from burns I received in an accident when I was 16 months old, injuries that required so many surgeries that my mom lost count.  I don't remember it, but the trauma from that incident has remained with me and made me unable to handle being in a children's hospital in Brazil.  Oh yes, I have scars.  But one thing I know about scars is this: scars don't still hurt. 

The worst kind of wound is the kind you carry with you every day -- a wounded heart.  My heart was wounded, and I carried that pain with me for a long, long time.  I didn't know how to get past it.  I couldn't see past it.  I couldn't feel past it.  

Today I opened my prayer journal and flipped back to the entries that mark the worst emotional pain of my life.  The pain written on those pages is blistering and intense, almost radiating up into my face as I read them.  But what I experienced when I read them today . . . was different.  

Yesterday I asked the Lord to heal my heart once and for all.  I knew I couldn't truly live until I'd been fully, completely healed.  I couldn't move forward without it.  I'd tried for months and months to "think" my way into healing and "study" my way into healing.  All that time, God was longing for me to reach the end of my rope and just ask Him.  Just ask Him.  He wanted me to ask for a miracle.  He wanted me to realize that He didn't need my help to heal.  He wanted me to realize that there was absolutely nothing I could do to get myself out of this pit.  It would have to be all Him. 

This morning, I re-read those devastating journal entries and didn't feel what I used to feel.  I didn't identify with the woundedness or wonder how I'd ever be healed from such devastation.  I felt whole again, and peaceful, and healed.  

Jesus has healed my heart.

Hallelujah!  What beautiful, beautiful scars.

"Praise God we don't have to hide scars!
"They just strengthen our wounds and they soften our hearts.
"They remind us of where we have been, but not who we are.
"So praise God, praise God!
"Oh His are covering ours,
"So Praise God we don't have to hide scars." -Jonny Diaz, "Scars"

Praise God for these beautiful scars!

Ashton

I've been reading through Frank Peretti's novel This Present Darkness for a couple weeks now, often late into the night -- which really isn't smart because that book is not conducive to sleep!  It's been opening my eyes to what could very well be going on in the spirit realm, and it's both exciting and mind blowing.  I hadn't realized before how powerful the prayers of the Remnant (i.e., true followers of Jesus Christ) could potentially be in influencing what goes on in the spiritual realm!   

Peretti published this book back in 1986, but his depiction of the fictional town of Ashton eerily resembles . . . the current state of this entire country.  Wouldn't you agree?  Just look around.  Look at your generation.  Look at my generation!  Look at families, look at society -- abominations occur every single day because people choose to avert their eyes and let it slide.  Evil has infiltrated and been absorbed by our country, playing out devastating effects on people from pre-birth to 100 years old.  It doesn't take a lot of imagination to recognize that Satan is having a heyday with the United States of America.  

I've felt helpless against this for so long.  But a few days ago, I read something that shifted my perspective and showed me that I can change this.  We can change this.

2 Chronicles 7:14, "If My people, who are called by My name, humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." 

Let me dissect this verse to show you what I'm seeing.  

"My people, who are called by My name" clearly refers to us (the Remnant), if not only to the original context (the nation of Israel).

Apparently, we as God's people have the opportunity and the responsibility to petition God for the healing of our country, something He promises to actually do!  But there's a catch!  According to the rest of this verse, four things have to happen inside us first: 

1. We must humble ourselves
2. We must pray
3. We must seek His face
4. We must turn from our wicked ways

If you're skeptical at this point, don't worry; I was too.  Does God really heal a wicked land when the Church (I'm referring to the Remnant, not a denomination or a building) prays for its healing?  

"But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare." -Jeremiah 29:7

This seems to indicate that we should pray on behalf of a wicked nation because there will be direct results from those prayers!  The exciting thing is that God is stirring up the Remnant to pray for this country -- just like in This Present Darkness -- and that just tells me that something big IS going on here, and we can't ignore those urges to pray and cry out to God for healing and repentance.

Okay . . . but what if I were the only one in the world praying?  Would my prayers really be heard and answered?  The prayers of one person can seem so insignificant . . . . 

Let me show you something that's just so precious to me.  As I was struggling with feelings of "prayer inadequacy syndrome," God led me to Daniel chapters 9-10.  Daniel, who was a captive in Babylon during this time, was burdened for his native land, since Jerusalem has long been seized by the Chaldeans.  He saw all the wickedness going on and pleaded with God, all by himself, for the redemption of his people (Daniel 9:4-19).  Daniel hadn't even finished his prayer before God sent Gabriel to give Daniel understanding (v. 20-27)!  Two years later, Daniel was given a prophetic word, and it troubled him so much that he mourned for three weeks.  During that mourning time, Daniel saw a vision of a "terrifying man" who came to explain what was yet to happen to the people.  

Here's what I saw in these two chapters.  Both Gabriel (in Dan. 9:22) and the "terrifying man" (in Dan. 10:11, 19) made a point to tell Daniel that he was greatly loved.  How precious is that?  Daniel was just praying all by himself, and God took such pleasure in his sincere (but solitary) prayers that He sent two messengers not only to answer Daniel, but also to tell him how greatly he was loved.  

My point is, even if you were the only one on Earth praying for your nation, God wouldn't see that as insignificant.      

So, think about it.  In Matthew 18:19-20, Jesus says, " 'Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.  for where two or three are gathered in My name, there am I among them.' "  

Reading This Present Darkness has shown me that we do actually have the authority to fight Satan -- and win -- in Jesus' name!  Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world!  This country was dedicated to God at its birth!

As a young Christ-follower, I'm deciding to take a stand and tell Satan NO!  He cannot have my country!  If necessary I will stand alone, unafraid.  I'm not afraid of Satan!  I'm now calling to you.  Will you stand with me against Satan and his demons, and pray for God to send down warrior angels to fight for this country?  Will you beg God to stir up the Remnant to pray, to stand up, to lead, to speak?  Will you beg God to bring this nation to its knees in repentance?  To bring revival?  To bring healing? 

Do you believe that we can change America -- our very own Ashton?

I do.