Beautiful Scars

This isn't a normal message from Facing Midian.  This message is straight to you, from my heart.  This morning I am overflowing with praise -- I hardly know why I am writing this; I just want to share with you what my sweet Lord has done for me.  

He has turned my scabs into beautiful scars.

Now, I know about scars.  I have physical scars from burns I received in an accident when I was 16 months old, injuries that required so many surgeries that my mom lost count.  I don't remember it, but the trauma from that incident has remained with me and made me unable to handle being in a children's hospital in Brazil.  Oh yes, I have scars.  But one thing I know about scars is this: scars don't still hurt. 

The worst kind of wound is the kind you carry with you every day -- a wounded heart.  My heart was wounded, and I carried that pain with me for a long, long time.  I didn't know how to get past it.  I couldn't see past it.  I couldn't feel past it.  

Today I opened my prayer journal and flipped back to the entries that mark the worst emotional pain of my life.  The pain written on those pages is blistering and intense, almost radiating up into my face as I read them.  But what I experienced when I read them today . . . was different.  

Yesterday I asked the Lord to heal my heart once and for all.  I knew I couldn't truly live until I'd been fully, completely healed.  I couldn't move forward without it.  I'd tried for months and months to "think" my way into healing and "study" my way into healing.  All that time, God was longing for me to reach the end of my rope and just ask Him.  Just ask Him.  He wanted me to ask for a miracle.  He wanted me to realize that He didn't need my help to heal.  He wanted me to realize that there was absolutely nothing I could do to get myself out of this pit.  It would have to be all Him. 

This morning, I re-read those devastating journal entries and didn't feel what I used to feel.  I didn't identify with the woundedness or wonder how I'd ever be healed from such devastation.  I felt whole again, and peaceful, and healed.  

Jesus has healed my heart.

Hallelujah!  What beautiful, beautiful scars.

"Praise God we don't have to hide scars!
"They just strengthen our wounds and they soften our hearts.
"They remind us of where we have been, but not who we are.
"So praise God, praise God!
"Oh His are covering ours,
"So Praise God we don't have to hide scars." -Jonny Diaz, "Scars"

Praise God for these beautiful scars!

Much at Stake: The Risk

"Why are you cast down, O my inner self?  And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me?  Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, Who is the help of my sad countenance, and my God." - Psalm 43:5 (amplified)

While running errands with my mom today, I remarked, "Everyone is going through something.  In fact . . . it seems like no one is ever not going through something!"

Some of you may be enduring a season of storms. 

Others may feel like a tornado just ripped through your situation.  

Then there are those of you who feel like you've got Hurricane Katrina absolutely devastating you, ravaging your heart, annihilating your hope.

Lately, God's been directing me to address EMOTIONAL PAIN in these blog posts.  I pray they are ministering to someone as they have ministered to me.

If you're in a season of "Hurricane Katrina" pain, one thing you must realize is that pain is blinding.  When people say they can't see past the pain, they're telling the truth.  Because pain will never allow you to see anything but IT.  

Did you know you have 2 sets of eyes??  

The only way to see through a season of pain is to stop looking through our human eyes -- reasoning, trying to understand, trying to figure it out -- and instead open our heart's eyes, eyes of faith.  You will never be able to see clearly if you're walking through fog.  But the fog hovers near the ground, so if you were to climb a hill or a tall tree, you'd be able to see over it!  This is a parallel of how you can see with your "eyes of faith."  Trust will open those eyes.

Suppose God see you clinging to something that we shouldn't be clinging to.  Maybe He sees that it's not good for you to cling to it.  Maybe He has something better.  Or maybe He sees that it is good, but it's not time for you to have it.  Whatever the reason, He takes it away.  And you're absolutely devastated.

Catch this: God ALWAYS acts in the way that will do us the MOST GOOD and bring Him the MOST GLORY.  And above all, He acts in unfathomable love. 

Unfathomable love.

In your human mind you cannot possibly see how this could be used for good.  All you see is . . . well, nothing.  You're blind.  Blinded by the pain.

Out of God's unfathomably tender love, He chose to bring about the hardest thing, that "worst case scenario", knowing the unspeakable pain it would cause, knowing there would be many opportunities for Satan to use it to destroy you, or for you to reject Him (God) altogether.  In His love, He saw what the end result would be and decided it was worth the risk.  

Look at Jesus.  He sweated blood as He begged God to let the cup of suffering pass from Him (Luke 22:42, 44).  And yet He ultimately surrendered Himself to His Father's will.  God saw that the end result of Jesus's suffering would be YOUR ADOPTION into His family, and He decided it was worth it.  Think about all the prophesies about Jesus, how much hung in the balance! 

For example,"He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open His mouth." -Isaiah 53:7

If Jesus had opened his mouth, Satan would have won.  Something as small as that would have marred the way to our salvation.  Jesus was walking the ultimate tightrope. 

It was the ultimate risk.  

So what's risky about your situation?  Your response.  Suppose you have a child who is playing with something that is not good for them, or something they shouldn't have right now.  As a parent, you see what is best for your child and you lovingly take away that item.  The child is devastated.  In his mind, he cannot see that you have acted for his good.  He can't understand why mommy or daddy just took away his treasure.  He doesn't understand the purpose behind the pain.  What if he rebels against you?  What if he hates you and walks away?

"If the PURPOSE couldn't exceed the PAIN, the answer is NO." -Beth Moore

In other words, if God couldn't bring about a result that would exceed the level of pain it takes to get there, He wouldn't have taken away your treasure.  

But what if your child, with tears still streaming down his cheeks, turned to you, lifted his little hands, and in the only way he knew how, told you that he trusted you.  He doesn't understand why, but he knows you are good, that you would only act in his best interest, and that he is submitting to you.

Doesn't that stir your heart?  What do you feel in the moment?  Overflowing love?  Pride? 

Today as I drove home from school, I reflected on my own pain and, for the hundredth time, vocalized that I TRUST HIM.  In spite of my pain, in spite of my not being able to see the good yet, in spite of my own Hurricane Katrina, I trust Him to write my story.  I am handing over the pen.  

He whispered to my heart something I know He will speak to yours in that moment:

"My daughter, I am so proud of you."