The Line: A Message to Singles

"I would rather do Kindergarten thru 12th grade 100 times over than spend one day worrying about who I was going to marry," said Nathan, one of my college pastors, a husband and father of five.

I think some of us can relate to Pastor Nathan in this area.  Are you sitting alone today?  Is there no "significant other" in your life?  Just plain . . . single?  Well, as a single woman myself, let me encourage you with a few quick words -- a message God has laid on my heart as I've wrestled with this issue in my own life.

First of all, understand this: the desire for marriage and family is good.  It is biblical.  It is ordained by God and ingrained in most of our hearts as something to be desired.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married.  But the white blurs to grey when we make marriage an idol, enslaving our minds to wishes and wants instead of focusing our worship on our captivating God, from Whom all blessings (including marriage) flow (James 1:17).  Are we worshiping the blessing or the Blesser?

Second, know that God arranges marriages.  I used to constantly worry about when, where, how, and who until one day it finally clicked: If God wants me married, He will bring the right guy at exactly the right time, not a second later or sooner than is necessary.  It doesn't matter if we are across the country or across the world; He will shake Heaven and Earth to bring us together -- nothing can stop Him!  I began laughing at myself for getting so wound up.  God opened my eyes, unclenched my controlling little fists, and whispered to my heart, "I love you.  I am sovereign.  Trust Me."  I challenge you to join me here.

Thirdly, know that God lives in the past, the present, and the future (Rev. 4:8).  This is where the title: The Line comes into play.  When I asked Him about my future husband recently, God opened the eyes of my heart so I could see a white piece of paper with a line drawn on it.  My name was written on the left, and right next to mine, blurred beyond recognition, was another name.  I knew at once it was my future husband's name.  God moved my heart to realize He's already chosen my husband.  It's done.  Finished.  Decided.  It was written before I was born, even before he was born.  My husband's name was blurred because God knows that it is not time for me to know it yet.  When the time comes, I'll see his name clearly.  

So what now? you may ask. How does this change things?  It's gloriously simple.  There is absolutely no need to worry.  It won't speed things up!  The only answer is to realize that if God's plan for you is marriage, then your name is on a line too, and your spouse's name is written right next to yours, blurred for now.  All we need to do is practice Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight." 

So be encouraged, my friend.  You may be single right now and not like it, but soften your heart to what God is teaching you, and pray for your future spouse; God is teaching him/her too.  After you are prepared for each other, He will bring you together.  Remember, nothing in Heaven or on Earth can stop Him from acting at exactly the right moment.  He is writing your love story.  Keep turning the pages.  :)

What Fountain are YOU Swimming in?

(Note from the author: Per a request, I may start changing the colors of these posts so they're easier to differentiate from each other!)

A few weeks ago, I was skimming through the book of Jeremiah and my eye caught a verse that made me feel uncomfortable.  (Isn't that great? haha -- my public speaking textbook calls that feeling "cognitive dissonance", which is a sense of mental discomfort that prompts people to change when new information conflicts with their previous thought patterns.  And there's your college-thought of the day.)

The verse was Jeremiah 2:13, which says, "For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the Fountain of Living Waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water."

Americans don't use the word "cistern" all too often (it's basically a well), but in Bible times a cistern was a hole dug in the ground that served as the holding tank for their water.  Now think outside the box, away from the literal terms, and see what God is trying to tell His people.

"For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the Fountain of Living Waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water."

People make "cisterns" out of dreams, hopes, plans, people.  God is trying to tell us that only He can fulfill us -- and only He can fill us.  We are looking for fulfillment in the wrong place, in things and people who cannot possibly fill us or keep us filled. 

That sounds like me!  Maybe I haven't "forsaken" God, but I've been pulling off the song and dance of having both "cisterns" and not letting the "broken" cistern go.  I've been praying for God to fill the cracked cistern, but even if He does one day, it will be like a sieve, and no matter how much water is poured in, it will never keep it filled.  In the end I'd be splashing around in a kiddie pool with a few inches of water in it, when I could have been diving into a bottomless ocean of God's vast, fulfilling love.  Looks like I need a prayer adjustment!  Maybe you do too.

So what does this look like for you?  Have you been focusing on a cracked cistern and praying for God to fill it?  It may be a good, wonderful thing!!  But anything that is not Jesus Christ is a sieve; it won't hold water.  Not for long.  It can't.  It's cracked.  So even if God DOES choose to fill that cistern someday (and He might, and I hope He will!) our expectations must be realistic.  We can't expect those things to fill us.  They might, for a while.  But like a water bottle with a hole in it, it will slowly leak and the water level will fall.

We've all got God-sized holes in our hearts, and -- surprise! -- only God can fill that hole.  The only "water" that can fill you up is the Fountain of Living Waters.  I'd say the better bet is God's "cistern"! 

So what fountain are YOU swimming in?  The cracked kiddie pool with a few inches of water in it?  Or the bottomless ocean of God?