Long, Leave, Live!

     We all have longings, those desires that choke us in those quiet moments when no one else in the world sees.  Heart pangs that feel like daggers, rushes of longing that drive us to our knees, and little hopes that drive us insane.  What are we supposed to do with this debilitating problem? 

     God is calling us to give Him 100% of our hearts.  (I can practically hear you groaning – I feel ya!)  It’s in the Bible but seems laughably impossible.  There always seems to be a little room in our hearts that we keep for ourselves.  In that room live our deepest desires, our longings, and the things we covet.  But we’ve locked the door; God is not allowed in.  Why not?  Because we are afraid that if He comes in, He’ll get rid of everything, and our dreams might not come true.

     As Christians, how does God want us to respond?  It’s a complicated thing, but it can be summed up in 3 words: Long, Leave, and Live. 

     LONG: Come before God and just drop everything.  Unlock the door.  Bare your soul.  It’s okay.  Tell Him everything; explain your longings.  Don’t be embarrassed; Hebrews 4:15-16 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

     LEAVE: Here comes the hard part.  We must sacrifice our longings on the altar.  What in the world does that mean?  Let’s look at the example of a guy who literally had to do this.

     “By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, ‘Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.’ [Abraham] considered that God was able even to raise [Isaac] from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back.” –Hebrews 11:17-19

     Abraham and Sarah waited about 25 years for Isaac to be born – a promise FINALLY fulfilled – and God asks them to give Isaac up.  Unbelievable, right?!  Nope.  God saw that in their hearts they had made an idol of Isaac, and God wants 100% of our hearts.  What’s incredible is that Abraham was this close to killing Isaac when God saw that he’d truly put God back on His rightful throne in Abraham’s heart.  God mercifully returned Isaac to Abraham, but I’ll bet you the old man never forgot that lesson. 

     “God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.” –Jim Elliot

     God’s best for you may not be what you think it is.  It will be much better.  “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the LORD.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.” –Isaiah 55:8-9

     Look at Jim Elliot (quoted above), for example.  He and Elisabeth Howard (missionaries in Ecuador) were madly in love for five long years but didn’t feel God had given them the green light to pursue marriage.  Jim had committed himself to being single for the sake of the Gospel if that was what God wanted.  Imagine the uncertainty, the frustration, the despair.  When they finally felt God had given them the green light to marry, Jim and Elisabeth had barely 3 years together before Jim was murdered by the Waodani tribe he was ministering to. 

     Was God’s plan really better? 

     Jim’s death opened the door for Elisabeth and the other martyrs’ wives to return to the Waodani tribe and share the Gospel with them.  The whole tribe was converted.  Elisabeth went on to write about Jim’s and her 5-year struggle in her bestseller Passion and Purity, write its amazing sequel Quest for Love, publish Jim’s journals, and become an incredible speaker who has called millions of people to the higher road. 

     Was it worth it?  You be the judge.

     LIVING: So now what?  You’ve confessed your longing, given it to God and laid it on the altar – does this mean you just have to try to make it through the day in one piece?  No.  The recurrent theme is that God wants 100% of your heart.  He wants 100% commitment to Him, 100% trust in Him.  There’s one more step, and that is to (in the words of my pastor) “get out of the boat and dance on the water with Jesus!”

     Recently I realized that I had nothing left but Jesus.  What a freeing feeling that was.  I can’t describe it.  When He suddenly became EVERYTHING to me, my heart understood what it meant to be 100% God’s.  You know how a girl in love floats through her day, and irritations and frustrations don’t really bother her because she knows there’s someone out there who loves her?  That’s the way it feels when you are head over heels in love with Jesus.  Even when things look the bleakest.  Even when you feel you can’t take any more of this “desert walking.”

     Yesterday I was at a low point (how quickly that Jesus enthusiasm faded) and rather depressed.  I was about to complain to God when He interrupted and lay this on my heart:

     “I love you.  Does that mean nothing to you?”
      My response: “God, I want it to mean everything.”
      His answer: “Then let it.”

Eve's Secret

We’ve all heard of her.  Not too many of us think highly of her.  Some of us secretly blame her for all the trouble in the world.  We think to ourselves: “Surely I would have acted differently if I were her.”

But Eve has a secret, one which I discovered recently, that can forever change how we relate to God, ourselves, and our circumstances. What’s the secret?

Before we enter the Garden to find out, let me ask you two questions.  Ever felt like God wasn’t doing His job right?  Ever thought you could do better?  Yeah, me too.  And that, my friends, is exactly the thinking that gets our girl Eve into trouble.

If you remember back to Genesis, God tells Adam and Eve that they can eat of any fruit in the garden except the fruit that grows from the Tree of Good and Evil.  Sound like fiction?  Think again.  This really happened. 
 

Enter the serpent, who was “more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.”  Starting in chapter 3, the serpent says to Eve (because animals could talk before the Fall – how crazy is that?), “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”
And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” (Gen. 3:1-6)

And there you have it.  Six little verses and the course of history is changed forever.  War, death, sickness, sin, lies, rape, murder – you name it, it started right there.  But what made Eve do such a stupid thing?  Why was she so easily fooled? 

It was because the serpent had confirmed a suspicion that may have already started in her heart: that God was holding back something good from her.  Think about that for a minute.  Isn’t that the root of all our frustration with God?  Don’t we feel like He is holding back something good from us? 

Contentment has been a huge issue for me the past 3 years.  I haven’t understood God’s timing or His will or how He brings good out of bad.  I have argued with God; I have accused Him; I have fought against Him.  My dreams want to carry me far away, but my circumstances demand that I stay put.  My fears smack me in the face and I’m caught in a hurricane of change.  My heart flies in a hundred crazy directions, ends up broken, and is told to wait.  Wait.  Wait.

But through these not-so-desirable circumstances, I’ve learned the secret to contentment, if you can believe that.  And it’s hard to swallow, so GET READY. 

When we are discontent, we blame it on our circumstances or on other people – or on God.  But this thinking is upside down and backwards (like much of human reasoning vs. God’s reasoning).  The truth is, lack of contentment does not stem from disappointments or frustrating circumstances.
 

The root of discontentment is pride. 
 

If you don’t believe me, listen to this.  According to Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones in their book The Young Lady in Waiting, pride can be defined as “an excessively high opinion of what one deserves.” 

When you think about it, who are we to tell God what we deserve in this life?  “I deserve that job, that house, that promotion, that degree, that husband, that wife, that money, those children . . . so why aren’t they here yet?!” 

The secret of contentment is not needing life on your terms.

Paul is the perfect example. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Philippians 4:12)
In the first few days I was absorbing this truth, I felt freed from disappointments and letdowns that ebbed and flowed from sunrise to sunset.  What would have normally caused an onslaught of pity parties (can you relate?) became an opportunity to throw my hands in the air and say, “Okay God, I don’t need life on my terms!” 

But since when has man ever not wanted life on his terms? It seems so unnatural to tell God to have His way (and mean it), especially when everything else in me is screaming "Yes, I do want life on my terms!!" Wanting and needing are two different things, though.  I'm sure Paul preferred a hotel suite to a jail cell, but his faith and understanding that God's ways were better led him to write that piece of scripture we all struggle with.

When we look back to Eve, however, we see that she is struggling with this very problem.  She believes God is holding something good from her, something she deserves.  She feels thwarted.  She feels discontent.  And she decides to take matters into her own hands. 

Don’t sneer at Eve.  I am just like her.  So are you.  Mankind descended from Adam and Eve, and with our lineage we also inherited original sin.  Our sin today is the exact sin that first couple committed to start the chain of miserable events to land us in desperate need of a Savior, one to stand between us and God.  Our sin is the chasm between Earth and eternal life, one we CANNOT cross without Jesus as our Bridge! 

So what can we say?  I am, as C.S. Lewis puts it, a Daughter of Eve.

We are truly Children of Eden.

And Jesus is our only hope. 

The Ladder: A Christmas Story

Once upon a time, there lived a young man named Joe who enjoyed walking out into the fields each day.  In every field stood hundreds – no, thousands – of ladders stretching into the clouds.   One person stood by each ladder.  Some stood at the base, others were halfway up, and still others climbed and climbed until only their feet could be seen through the cloud cover. 

Joe walked these sunny fields every day in search of his own ladder to climb.  Looking to his right as he walked, he saw an old man about twenty steps up, solemnly climbing.  He did not look at Joe so Joe called up to him.  “Hello, sir!  How’s it going?”

The old man smiled.  “I pray three times a day, tithe once a week – and I even helped bake the bread for communion last Sunday.  Yessir, I’m on my way!”

“What exactly are you climbing the ladder for, sir?” Joe asked.

The old man bobbed his head wisely.  “Well, son, there’s a great reward up there.  Gotta keep climbing to get it.”

Joe nodded and moved on.  Next he overtook a woman in her mid-thirties who looked enraptured with the clouds above her.  She was almost halfway to the sky. 

“Hello, ma’am!” Joe called.  “How’s it going?”

The woman looked down at Joe.  “Greetings!  Can you believe it?  I am almost halfway there.  Just a bit more meditation.  With the right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration I will reach the top!”

“What’s up there for you?” Joe asked.

“Nirvana!” the woman answered joyously.  “Goodbye now!”

Joe strained his eyes to see his own ladder and kept walking.  Next he came upon a man in his forties who was climbing at a very fast pace.  “Hello there!  How’s it going?”

The man stopped and looked down at Joe.  “Hello!  It’s going very well!  I am ahead of almost every other person here.  I say the shahadah; I pray five times a day; I give alms; I fast during Ramadan; and I’m on my way to Mecca!  I’m completing all the requirements and so far my good must outweigh my bad!”

“What’s up there for you?” Joe asked.

“If Allah allows me entrance, eternal life!” the man answered.  “Goodbye now!”

Joe walked at least another mile until the sun began setting and he could no longer see many of the ladders.   Having still not found his own ladder, he sighed and started back the way he came.  As the dusk settled around him, he passed the ladder where he had last stopped to talk.

The Muslim man was climbing down slowly, quite out of spirits.

“Hello again, sir!” Joe called.  “Did you reach the top?  Why have you come back down?”

The man reached the ground and slowly turned to Joe.  “I did reach the top, but . . . He said there was nothing up there for me.  He closed the door.”

“Who did?  What door?” Joe asked, but the man had already begun walking away, his head down.

A little while later, Joe came upon the Buddhist woman, who was also climbing down her ladder.  “Hello again, ma’am!” Joe called.  “Did you reach the top?  Why have you come back down?”

The woman looked stricken.  “I do not understand it!” she replied.  “I reached the top, but . . . He said there was nothing up there for me.  He closed the door.”

“What door?” Joe asked.  “Who closed it?  What is up there?” but the woman had already begun walking away, her head down.

A bit frightened now, Joe kept walking.  A little while later he came upon the old man, who was also climbing down his ladder.  “You too, sir?  You reached the top and the door was closed?”

The old man sighed.  “Not exactly.  I saw Him, but He said He never knew me, and I could not earn my admittance into that place.  Then He shut the door.  It was awful.”

“He who?  What door?  What is up there?  Please, I don’t understand!”

“Find out for yourself,” the man pointed.  “There is your ladder.  But I warn you, don’t do what I did.  It’s no use.”

Thoroughly confused, Joe ran to his ladder and stared up into the darkening sky.  “If I can’t earn my way, how can I ever get there?  Please!” he shouted to the sky.  “I want to come up!”

As he stared intently up his ladder, Joe noticed that someone was climbing down.  When the man came into earshot, Joe called, “Oh, I’m sorry; this is your ladder.  I thought it was mine.”

“It is!” said the man as he continued his descent.  “And these are MY heavens.  You say you want to come up?  Well, you cannot earn your way up there.  The others found that out the hard way.  The only way to come in is if I come down to get you.  And I did!  On a night much like tonight, actually – a night that is celebrated throughout the world, but the meaning of which is largely ignored.  The world celebrates with presents and Christmas trees and family, but the real meaning is lost.  The real meaning is that I came down to get you, Joe – to save you when nothing else could.”

The Man stopped when He was one rung from the ground. 

“Why have you stopped?” Joe asked.

“The other people tried to climb the ladder to reach Me, but they couldn’t.  No one can earn their way into My Home.  I am the only Way in!  And I have done all that it necessary to take you Home with Me.”

Still a bit confused, Joe said timidly, “But . . . can’t I do anything to go Home with You?”

“Yes you can!” the Man answered, smiling.  He stretched out His hand, and Joe noticed a hole in the wrist.  “Take My hand and climb up the first step.”

Thank you, Lord, for Jesus!  He is the only Way, the only One who comes down the ladder to get us, instead of us trying to climb the ladder to Him!  Hallelujah!  He is Emmanuel -- "God With Us"!!!

Merry CHRISTmas, and God bless!  <3

Wrigley and the North Wind

On June 1st of this year, I took my black and white miniature poodle, Wrigley, outside for a walk.  After "marking" every tree in sight (and that was just our driveway), he pulled at the leash and steered me right to our favorite walking spot near my house: a private, sunny lane framed with trees that opens up to a soccer field.  It was sooo beautiful out -- a strong breeze blowing and absolutely perfect temperatures.  Wrigley was thrilled to be on this adventure called "WALK", and it was very entertaining to watch him make a fool out of himself again and again.  But hey, he's a dog.  He's got no shame.  ;)

When we turned around to head back down the lane, the wind really started to pick up.  It was crazy wind -- almost as crazy as the windstorm we had at MCC a few weeks ago.  At one point I thought I was going to get blown off my feet, and the wind actually stopped me in my tracks.  I glanced down at Wri and found him cowering to the ground, his curly fur blown almost straight.  It. Was. Pathetic.  

Coming to the rescue, I scooped him up in my arms and held him tight.  Wrigley clung to me for dear life as I began battling through the wind for the both of us.  While I was fighting the wind, it occurred to me -- isn't this a perfect picture of how God relates to His children while we are in a storm?  It doesn't matter how old we are or how "mature" in our walk we are expected to be -- if we're in the midst of a windstorm and cry out to Him, He'll run to us, scoop us up into His arms, and carry us.  We are not a burden to Him; He'll never tire of holding us.     

It also brings Mark 6:48-51 to mind: “And He saw that they were making headway painfully, for the wind was against them.  And about the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea.  He meant to pass by them, but when they saw Him walking on the sea they thought it was a ghost, and cried out, for they all saw Him and were terrified.  But immediately He spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart; it is I.  Do not be afraid.’  And He got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased.  And they were utterly astounded . . . .”

Are you in a storm?  Has life just decked you?  Are you hopeless?  Desperate?  Alone?

Cry out to Jesus.  He will carry you.

The storm may not stop, but He will see you through it.  You are not alone.  You have never been alone, nor will you ever be.  He is with you in your darkest hours.  His arms ache to hold you, His heart longs to speak to yours, His hands tremble with eagerness to touch your life, your soul. 

The same God who calmed the wind on the Sea of Galilee will calm the storm inside you, even when all hell is breaking loose around you.

But you must call first.  He is a heartbeat away -- cry out to Him, and He will carry you.

Hard Hats and Traffic Jams

26 Mile Rd and Van Dyke recently finished a 4-month-long construction project.  For those of you who don’t know, 26 Mile Rd is where Meijer, Target, Kohl’s, Payless, Bath and Body Works, and Home Depot are located (for those of us in the boonies who actually have to drive SOUTH to get to any store!!).  It was a major pain.  Traffic was rerouted again and again, speed limits were slowed to a crawling pace, you could sit through 2-3 cycles of a traffic light before making it through the intersection – just a big pain.  And the progress was hard to see, which added to the irritation as the construction dragged on and on and on. 

Recently, while sitting in a long line of traffic at 26 Mile and Van Dyke, I thought about how construction parallels our spiritual walk.  Often, God will make it clear to me that it’s time for another season of construction, and my habitual response is irritation.  “More construction, Lord?  Didn’t I just get through the last season of construction?”  (Btw, this is the wrong response b/c if God wants to work something else in me I should be nothing but grateful and excited!)

This is how roadway construction parallels spiritual “construction.”  Initially there tends to be a period of demolition, utter chaos and a scrambling to get things organized.  Foundations are torn up, roads are blocked off and rerouted, warning cones are placed everywhere, and workers bring in colossal Komatsu machines.

What a headache!  Now traffic lines double and triple in size and reckless accidents sometimes occur, creating more havoc and longer lines.  We hate roadway construction because we somehow have to go on with our lives despite the mess.

It’s the same thing with spiritual construction.  Life gets way more complicated because now we suddenly have to deal with the spiritual valleys, tough lessons and tears – while somehow going on with our daily lives, agendas and responsibilities.  

Depending on your outlook, spiritual construction can be the worst or best time of your life.
(just a reminder: if you consider construction to be the worst time of your life, be prepared for LOTS more of it.)

What’s the point of the construction, the mayhem, the inconvenience, the tears?  Well, Elisabeth Elliot hit a bull’s eye when she said, “God’s story never ends with ashes.”  Think about it.  When 26 Mile opened up a few days ago and I drove on it for the first time, I breathed a sigh of relief.  The road was smooth and newly paved – there was more space, more room to breathe.  It was refreshing. 

When God wants to work something into (or out of) your soul, yes, it will be a tough time, and only He knows how long it will last.  But when the construction is finally finished, your spirit will breathe deeply and enjoy the delightful product of that labor.  Your heart will rejoice in what the Lord has brought forth in your soul.  Another valley conquered, another mountain climbed. 

So bring on the hard hats, the traffic jams, the big ol’ Komatsu’s.  It’s construction time!!

Facing WHAT?!

This blog is inspired by an average guy who let fear rule his life...until God stepped in.  You can read about him in Judges 6-7.  His name is Gideon. 

In Judges 6:11, an angel came to Gideon (who was hiding from the Midianites in the mountains) and said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior!"

Did you know that Gideon's name literally means "Mighty Warrior"?  How ironic.

The angel of the LORD told Gideon that he would rise up, fulfill his name, and save Israel from the hand of Midian.  Most of you know the story, how Gideon was terrified by the prospect and begged God to give him a sign that He had chosen him.  The fleece thing, yeah. 

One of my favorite preachers, Cliff Johnson, summed up Gideon's story with these words: "Sometimes God doesn't give us the exact steps we're supposed to do through a fleece; He wants us to go and answer the cry of a desperate people."

This blog is going to be a quest, a journey on a higher road.  God has shown me so much, and I think it's time to share what I'm learning with you.  After all, to whom much is given, much is expected.  So take my hand, and let's go Face Midian.  :)