We all have longings, those desires that choke us in those quiet moments when no one else in the world sees. Heart pangs that feel like daggers, rushes of longing that drive us to our knees, and little hopes that drive us insane. What are we supposed to do with this debilitating problem?
God is calling us to give Him 100% of our hearts. (I can practically hear you groaning – I feel ya!) It’s in the Bible but seems laughably impossible. There always seems to be a little room in our hearts that we keep for ourselves. In that room live our deepest desires, our longings, and the things we covet. But we’ve locked the door; God is not allowed in. Why not? Because we are afraid that if He comes in, He’ll get rid of everything, and our dreams might not come true.
As Christians, how does God want us to respond? It’s a complicated thing, but it can be summed up in 3 words: Long, Leave, and Live.
LONG: Come before God and just drop everything. Unlock the door. Bare your soul. It’s okay. Tell Him everything; explain your longings. Don’t be embarrassed; Hebrews 4:15-16 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
LEAVE: Here comes the hard part. We must sacrifice our longings on the altar. What in the world does that mean? Let’s look at the example of a guy who literally had to do this.
“By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, ‘Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.’ [Abraham] considered that God was able even to raise [Isaac] from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back.” –Hebrews 11:17-19
Abraham and Sarah waited about 25 years for Isaac to be born – a promise FINALLY fulfilled – and God asks them to give Isaac up. Unbelievable, right?! Nope. God saw that in their hearts they had made an idol of Isaac, and God wants 100% of our hearts. What’s incredible is that Abraham was this close to killing Isaac when God saw that he’d truly put God back on His rightful throne in Abraham’s heart. God mercifully returned Isaac to Abraham, but I’ll bet you the old man never forgot that lesson.
“God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.” –Jim Elliot
God’s best for you may not be what you think it is. It will be much better. “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.” –Isaiah 55:8-9
Look at Jim Elliot (quoted above), for example. He and Elisabeth Howard (missionaries in Ecuador) were madly in love for five long years but didn’t feel God had given them the green light to pursue marriage. Jim had committed himself to being single for the sake of the Gospel if that was what God wanted. Imagine the uncertainty, the frustration, the despair. When they finally felt God had given them the green light to marry, Jim and Elisabeth had barely 3 years together before Jim was murdered by the Waodani tribe he was ministering to.
Was God’s plan really better?
Jim’s death opened the door for Elisabeth and the other martyrs’ wives to return to the Waodani tribe and share the Gospel with them. The whole tribe was converted. Elisabeth went on to write about Jim’s and her 5-year struggle in her bestseller Passion and Purity, write its amazing sequel Quest for Love, publish Jim’s journals, and become an incredible speaker who has called millions of people to the higher road.
Was it worth it? You be the judge.
LIVING: So now what? You’ve confessed your longing, given it to God and laid it on the altar – does this mean you just have to try to make it through the day in one piece? No. The recurrent theme is that God wants 100% of your heart. He wants 100% commitment to Him, 100% trust in Him. There’s one more step, and that is to (in the words of my pastor) “get out of the boat and dance on the water with Jesus!”
Recently I realized that I had nothing left but Jesus. What a freeing feeling that was. I can’t describe it. When He suddenly became EVERYTHING to me, my heart understood what it meant to be 100% God’s. You know how a girl in love floats through her day, and irritations and frustrations don’t really bother her because she knows there’s someone out there who loves her? That’s the way it feels when you are head over heels in love with Jesus. Even when things look the bleakest. Even when you feel you can’t take any more of this “desert walking.”
Yesterday I was at a low point (how quickly that Jesus enthusiasm faded) and rather depressed. I was about to complain to God when He interrupted and lay this on my heart:
“I love you. Does that mean nothing to you?”
My response: “God, I want it to mean everything.”
His answer: “Then let it.”
My response: “God, I want it to mean everything.”
His answer: “Then let it.”
